Lily I love you
by anonomousangel
Summary: A short enough fic from when Lily, James etc were in 7th year. DH spoilers I suppose. more detailed summary inside. PLEASE R&R I'd really like opinions of my work.
1. Chapter 1

Lily I love you.

A/N: This fic is based when Lily, James and co. are in 7th year. However, Snape and Lily are still best friends. Basically Lily finds herself falling in love with James while Snape struggles to tell her how he feels

Snape

She walked up to me, aglow with happiness. Her beautiful eyes shone and I knew she was thinking of him still. She gives a sigh of pure contentment as she turns to me. "Hey Sev" she says, her eyes focusing on me at last.

"Do you want to do the potions homework later?" I ask. She pauses and I know it is happening already. All it takes is a boyfriend in Gryffindor for me to be forgotten.

"Sorry Sev, I said I'd do my homework with James today" she looks genuinely sorry about it but I can't help being a bit hurt.

"What do you even see in him" I can't help but ask.

She looks at me quickly "look, I know you don't like him but James has changed a lot over the last few years. He's kind and considerate and funny"

My mind clouded with bitterness. If only she would look like that while thinking about me. Her face was a vision, her eyes earnest and shining. Those eyes that make my heart cry just to look at them. Right then I knew she was in love.

The pain was blinding. All these years I have loved her and he is nothing, nothing compared to how I could make her happy. Why? Why pick him when I want nothing more than to kiss her beautiful lips, have her eyes gaze into mine and know that she loves me too.

She's about to go. Now's my chance to tell her. Tell her how I've felt for all this time.

"Lily" I say. She turns back

"Yeah?" she says softly her eyes questioning.

"Lily, I love you" my mind screams but I can't get the words out

"We're still best friends right?" I say instead, my troubled eyes finding hers, trying to project my doubts through the air between us. She takes two steps towards me and suddenly she's hugging me tighter than ever before. Her hair falls beneath my face and I breathe in the sweet smell.

"I love you" I whisper oh so softly and pray she doesn't hear. I wonder why I can never voice how I feel properly.

"Of course we are" she says as we break apart "always" she smiles at me and my heart cries out with longing. My eyes follow her as she walks away her hair shining in the light.

"Lily I love you" I mutter bitterly as I stand alone once more. Potter is right, I am a coward. Well I'm not in Gryffindor after all. I just never seem to be able to say what's in my heart. I walk out into the grounds and find my favourite spot, a tree on the lakeshore, deserted as always. I sit down and extract my wand from my pocket "expecto patronum" I say. The silver doe bursts from my wand and dances in the breeze. I stare at the doe thinking of Lily and I know what I have to do. I take out a quill and a fresh piece of parchment and begin to write.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Lily

As I walk away from him, I wonder what's happened. Sev seems so different. I know he doesn't like James but I've not changed. Have I? Well, maybe I have been spending more time with Gryffindors. Maybe he feels left out. I love Severus, as a friend obviously. But this thing with James is so exciting and just wonderful. I don't know what change happened or when, but I think I love him. I don't want to loose Severus, he's my best friend "Always" just like I said. But… did I dream it? I thought I heard him say "I love you" while we hugged. I don't know if he said it or if I just dreamed it. If he did say it, what does it mean? Just as friends? Right? I just don't know.

I walk into the common room and see James sitting with Remus and Sirius. Peter isn't there but I don't bother to ask why as I walk over. I sit down next to James. He turns and gives me a killer smile. I practically melt as his hazel eyes meet my own vivid green and I know what it is to be truly happy.

A/N: I don't actually know what colour James' eyes are so they're hazel in this, if you do know please let me know if I'm right.

I take out my books and begin doing my mountain of homework N.E.W.T year is hell.

A while later Remus talks "Lily?" he asks, I look up from my transfiguration and see he's doing potions "yeah?" I say.

"Where did I go wrong in this potion? I followed all the instructions but it didn't work and Slughorn is making me write an essay on where I went wrong." I glance at the page. I remember the class from earlier.

I was sitting next to Severus like I have done since 1st year. As I began to stir my potion his hand grabbed mine "don't do it like that" he said "add a clockwise stir after every 5 anti-clockwise" I tried this and my potion turned out perfect.

I wonder if I should tell Remus. I pause for a moment "Um… I dunno Remus, I did what the book said and it worked for me, maybe you just made a mistake" I say. Potions should be just for me and Sev.

I finish my homework shortly after and rise to leave. James stands up as well and we go to a slightly more secluded spot. He kisses me and it's amazing, we don't break apart for ages and when we do, I know I'm in love. He grins at me and I smile back. He looks serious though "Lily" he says softly. I move in towards him and he whispers in my ear" Lily, I love you". I'm so happy I could burst

"I love you too" I smile at him. He hugs me and then we kiss, more passionately than ever before. I grin at him and I turn to go up to my dorm when I hear Remus call "Lily, you've got post" he says. I walk over to the window and see my owl, Miranda, has a letter tied to her leg. Strange, she was in Hogwarts earlier, who's writing to me so? I take the letter from her and she flies away. I look at my name on the parchment. It's Severus' writing. I take the letter upstairs to open it. I open it and see two pieces of paper neatly folded. I open one out and see a letter

Lily

I've known you for a long time but I've never been able to tell you how I feel. Hopefully this will show you.

Severus.

I reach into the envelope and pick up the other piece of paper. Wordlessly I begin to read.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Lily

A/N: this is my first fic so I'm not really used to doing it. The spacing on this pem is a bit messed up because of it. I couldn't get it to recognise the verses. I'm you want to know how it was originally supposed to be phrased then feel free to ask me and I'd be happy to show you the spacing. Anyway I hope you get the jist of the poem. Please review this fic if you read it. It's my first one so I'd like to get opinions on how I portray the characters etc. I'll accept criticism so long as it isn't totally flaming my work. Thanks-anon

Always

Saw you

Standing there

Right away, I knew

You were special

You were different

Someone I could talk to

You understand

Knew you cared

Did you know?

Know how I feel about you?

"Gryffindor"

Crushed

Felt like loosing you

But no

You were different

We remained

Best friends

"Always"

Maybe I'm not

Brave like you

Slytherin

Different, I know

I see you

Laughing, smiling

So alive

Makes my heart ache

Just watching

Those eyes

So vivid, bright, beautiful

Make my heart cry

Just to see

If I were brave

Like you

Maybe it would all be

Different

But I know

It will always be you

Who can make my heart cry

Sing

Burst with joy

And only you

Will ever make me say

Lily, I love you

Always

The page was decorated beautifully. A silver doe, my patronus, stood in a glade of moonlit grass. A single vivid eye in one corner. And to the side a portrait of me. I look so beautiful and I know it is how I'm seen by someone who loves me.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Snape

A/N: Thank you to Cherrykisses21- first review. First of many hopefully. Please review this if you read it because I'm always looking to improve.

I know this chapter is quite short sorry.

Did she get it?

Did she like it?

Will this change everything?

For better?

For worse?

At all?

Me or James?

Will she choose?

Does she love me too?

Is always really forever?

Can we still be friends?

A thousand questions thundered through my brain.

Will she send a reply?

What if she doesn't feel the same?

Could I deal with that?

What would I do?

Why have I made myself vulnerable like this?

Was I wrong?

Was I right?

Will things ever be the same?

Nervously I wait.

I forgot to put this in so

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or the setting-it's all J.K. Rowling. Only the plot is mine.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Lily

My eyes glisten with tears, threatening to blur those beautiful words. I read them over and over again. Their meaning takes a while to hit me "Lily, I love you, Always" Severus loving me, it just doesn't make sense. We've been friends since, well since I was nine or something. Of course I love him, but only as a friend, and that picture, those words, definitely indicate he likes me more than that. What can I do now? I don't want to reject him, but I can't exactly say I love him too.

Maybe if I find him, talk to him, he might understand. I think for a moment. Where would he be? It doesn't take me long to come up with his favourite spot on the grounds, a lone tree on the far side of the lake. I walk out of my dorm and go downstairs. "Lily, what's up?" James asks when he sees me. I don't really want to tell him "It's nothing major, I just need to go for a while" I say as I leave the common room. As I walk out the main doors I gaze over at the lake. I can see the figure of a patronus rising above the silent water. I try to distinguish its form. As I move closer I realise it's a doe, but that's my patronus. I walk closer to the tree and I can see him now, He's sitting on his own watching his patronus dance. I start to feel really horrible, if only there were some other way. I pause for a moment, but then grasp my courage, I am in Gryffindor after all, and walk over to him. He looks up as I approach, his eyes are questioning, apprehensive, a little bit scared. "Sev, it's beautiful, I absolutely love it, Thank you so much" he gives a small smile but doesn't talk, I'm glad I want to get this over with as quickly as possible. "I do love you Sev" I say "but only as a friend." He nods "I guess I knew that" he says softly "But I had to tell you how I feel" I smile at him. He moves closer and I hug him. It's a nice moment but then he ruins it

"I still don't get what you see in James" he says, he sounds like a little kid. I look at him right in the eye "he's changed" I say sharply "I wouldn't expect you to understand." He looks confused "Why not?" I look down for a moment before meeting his gaze once more. "You just can't see past how he used to be. You're going to hate him forever, I can't change that. Just don't expect me to follow your example."

He looks affronted at my sharp tone. I've been annoyed at his attitude to James for a while though, it's time to make my feelings clear I guess. "I just don't think he's good enough for you" he says softly. I know he probably doesn't mean to annoy me but he's really getting on my nerves "I think I can judge that for myself, thanks" I snap at him. He's shocked at my tone but he still won't stop "I just can't bear to see you with him" he whispers. I'm so angry with him, this is my life, my choice "you're going to have to get used to it" I say looking at his tormented features. His voice is sharp as he raises his next objection "you shouldn't be with him, ever" he says. He's trying to control my life and I'm sick of it. I never liked James either, but he's different now and I wish Severus could see that. "You're wrong" I say simply. He won't give it up "am I?" his tone is almost mocking. "Yes" I practically scream at him. Why does he have to make this so difficult for me? He looks at me. I can see he's hurt but this really isn't up to him. He's about to speak but I stop him "I love him" I say softly. "Try to be happy for me, please"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

A/N: thanks to everyone who's reviewed I love you all very much.

Snape

"I love him." Her words bring tears to my eyes. I know, I've always known she doesn't love me. It's just James Potter is the one person I can't feel happy for her. Seeing her with him brings tears to my eyes as well as making me want to just pull her away from him. I know I can't do the one thing she's asked of me.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I can" I say quietly, it breaks my heart to see her face as she digests my words. Tears sparkle in those breathtaking eyes as she turns away from me "I don't think we can be friends anymore" she says as she walks away from me "goodbye Severus." And then she's gone. We won't be friends again, I know. I've lost her forever. She's gone and I'm left loving her, always.

A/N: So… It's finished. PLEASE let me know what you think, even if you don't like it I want to know. Thanks for reading this far..

Anon


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